You're not seriously selling paper towels with holes in them, are you, LickieDickie?

Stop the presses!  What on Earth are you doing?!  This can't really be serious, can it?  I never would have found out about this "genius" product if it weren't for a certain user named LickieDickie following me on Twitter in true spam artist fashion.  I'm also having a hard time reconciling whether or not the decision to view their homepage was a mistake.

I mean look at this shit!  I can just see the business proposal meeting now:

Person 1:  So, what have you got for me?
Person 2:  I want to sell paper towels with a hole in it, made specifically for oral sex.
Person 1:  That seems perfectly reasonable.  I'm all in.
Person 2:  Very good.  We're in business!

Well, there it is, folks.  I don't really know how else to break this down for you, but if you've been having a really hard time with oral sex because it's so goddamn icky, go buy a Lickie Dickie. (I should get paid for slogans like that.)

(Image via Lickie Dickie)

from Austin Keenan presents: "No, you're not."